How to Talk to Your Teenage Daughter about Sex

Ask any parent of a teenager, especially teen girls and 9 times out of 10, they haven’t talked to their girls about sex even though they know their daughters are around sex, being influenced and maybe in a potential situation to have it.

It’s a sensitive topic that is mostly avoided due to the conundrum – fear of encouraging and fear of misleading.  Damned if I do, damned if I don’t.  The sad thing is, most parents secretly feel if they don’t say anything, and something happens, they won’t have to take the blame.  And mostly they don’t want to believe that their little angels are growing up!

The truth is we want to educate our daughters about sex but often the fears show up as:

a) I don’t want to encourage them to do it – they are too young!

b) I’m not comfortable with it myself, so I don’t know what to say.

c) I feel so out of touch with what’s happening in this day and age, I think she could get better educated ‘online’.

Avoiding, rather than parenting becomes a pretty common theme in this area, and it’s only hurting our girls and stealing away an opportunity for us to open up an extremely important conversation with our children that can have a lifelong impact on their health and relationships.

In my adult years, I have talked to many grown women about pleasure, owning our sexuality, orgasms, vibrators, loving their bodies but as my teenage daughters were reaching  their mid-teen years (15 & 16 yrs old) and although we’ve had small conversations about boyfriends, protection, body loving etc., I still hadn’t jumped into the full conversation of self-pleasuring, and self-respect and of course, preparing for sex.

I’ve mentioned (probably more aptly called a rant) that because porn has become so available and mainstream, that most likely whomever my daughters eventually end up dating, will have watched it and these young boys or girls will think they know everything about sex and it will then be up to my daughters to reframe the situation, open the conversation and create an experience that honours both themselves and the young souls they are with.  This is where the new version of the “sex talk” needs to come in.  My daughters won’t be able to speak up and stand up if they haven’t learned the basics of self love, self pleasure and self respect outside of the media messages.

This is where the new version of the “sex talk” needs to come in.  My daughters won’t be able to speak up and stand up if they haven’t learned the basics of self-love, self-pleasure, and self-respect outside of the media messages.

A few months ago I put aside some very high-quality vibrators and some deep empowering thoughts.  Time for me to teach and share instead of pondering. It was time for me to open the conversation fully.

I started by putting my deepest desire for my daughter’s experiences into one sentence.

“I wish for you to experience all the joy possible; your body, heart and soul has a massive capacity for pleasure, love and joy so go out and play, experiment and know that it’s a journey, not a destination!”

And then the details came together.  Sex education now needs to be pleasure education. Fighting against the messages from media, porn, society, religions and everything else that encourages body hate, shame, and submission.  More than ever we need to be examples and messengers to our daughters about the wonders of their bodies, the blessings of intimacy and it starts as a personal relationship.

I’m teaching my daughters that their most important job right now is to get to know and love their body.  Learn what brings pleasure and builds their desires and follow that.  If that’s the one gift I can give them, I know they can always come back to that.

Plus, it’s a good reminder for me.  Yes, I’m a middle-aged mom and I need a reminder to fall back in love with my body, and seek pleasure first.  Might as well be an example.

Want a copy of my letter to my daughters? I put it into a little, downloadable PDF here:

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What do you think is the most important thing a teenage girl should learn about sex, or what is one thing you wish you had heard from your momma?

New Podcast! Are You Copper Toxic?

This in an in-depth conversation/interview style with Rick Fisher about the effects and symptoms of Copper Toxicity on women’s health and how you can get tested, and ultimately get rid of it!
Copper toxicity is a build-up of bio-unavailable copper in the body that gets stored primarily in the liver (initially) and then subsequently in the brain and other organs. As copper accumulates it initially gets stored in the liver, causing the main symptoms of brain fog and fatigue. At high levels of accumulation, however, the mind start racing and the adrenals may ‘burn out’. Following adrenal burnout copper levels then spike even further as ceruloplasmin production declines. Copper is now being deposited in the brain and other organs, and this, in turn, leads to neurotransmitter imbalances causing brain function and perception to become altered, and schizophrenia, paranoia, depression, anxiety, and pseudo-bipolar conditions can result.

 

For more information on Rick Fisher, visit:www.integrativehealthcoaching.ca

 

soul food for women

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Get clear on what drives you and brings you meaning.

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Give yourself permission to do the things that feed your soul.

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5 minutes of mindfulness, is better than no minutes.

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What gifts will you receive when you fully surrender?

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Shine your light. Share your light. Create light together.

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Feeding your soul, feeds the world.

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Gift yourself the Joy of Savouring.

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Sometimes the greatest gift you can give others, is taking time for yourself.

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There’s nothing more beautiful than radiating your true essence.

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In each experience, discover what feeds you, and what drains you.

 

The One Thing Every Woman Should Be Doing To Balance Their Hormones.

I was so honored and excited to have the opportunity to record my first interview with such a sweet, knowledgeable and insightful guest.  Dr. Angele Besner, ND in Vancouver, BC shares insights into how she helps women in her practice with hormone balancing, especially with symptoms of menopause. You may be surprised the number 1 thing she recommends! We delve into topics of stress, life, transformation during menopause, thyroid and adrenal health as well as what exactly causes menopausal hot flashes and how they are affected by what we do in our 20’s and 30’s. Such an honest and open conversation about topics so important to women and every age.

Here’s a summary of what we talked about!

 

2:30 – Reclaim what it means to be feminine.  You can be feminine AND powerful.

3:00 – Menopause is the prime time for transformation.

4:25 – The Shift from the motherly, nurturing role to self-actualization (Guilt = Struggle)

7:00 – Women need to get clear on what drives you and what brings you meaning.

8:03 – The power of Mindfulness

9:10 – Adrenal Health: Effects of physical, psychological and emotional stress

9:20 – Thyroid Health: Lifestyle, symptoms and tests available.

9:45 – Lifestyle changes: what we eat, how much we sleep.  Big recommendation – GET OUTSIDE during the day = natural sleep cycle!

12:05 – What about Coffee & Wine??

13:00 – What can we do in our 20’s & 30’s

14:40 – What would you tell women in their 20’s & 30’s to take care when they feel invincible?

16:45 – Permission to slow down… “But I’ve never had a problem with that before!”

18:30 – 5 minutes of Mindfulness is better than no minutes

18:55 – Does mindfulness help with hormone balancing?

20:00 – What are the signs of Adrenal fatigue?

23:00 – Juice fasts?

26:00 – BioIdentical hormones for hot flashes.

26:45 – The drop in progesterones, estrogen spikes and lows, blood vessels at skin surface & erratic estrogen = hot flashes!

27:45 – How does Adrenal Fatigue affect hot flashes?

29:00 – An amazing story about a woman who made life changes and completely changed her menopause symptoms as well as totally increased energy levels and joy!

 

To learn more about Dr. Angele Besner and her treatments, please visit:  http://www.drangelebesner.com/

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Please share any insights or thoughts, I’d love to hear from you!

Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom ~An Instagram Book Experience

Buy Now on Amazon


Dr. Christiane Northrup’s book sits on my night stand. It’s my reference book, my comfort and my inspiration.  I wanted to share it with you visually in a way that brought out all the bits that stand out to me, but more as a long-winded recommendation to go get the book for yourself! Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom (Revised Edition): Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing

You can also “read” the highlights of this book right in Instagram, if that’s where you hang out a lot. 💜

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